Sunday, June 18, 2017

peace.

In March I took a pregnancy test. To my surprise, the test was positive. I hadn't taken a pregnancy test in months because I always knew that it would be negative and soon after taking the test my period would start. So I just stopped taking them. Until March. 

It was such a weird feeling looking at the test and seeing two lines. It was so faint that I thought maybe I was tricking myself. I woke Dallin up to make sure I wasn't seeing things. After he put his contacts in, he told me that he was pretty sure he saw a second line as well. 

I had been waiting for that moment for so long. I had so many different emotions trying to fight through. I called the doctor as soon as I could and went in for a blood test. Sure enough, the blood test came back positive. I was excited, nervous, and a little bit of a wreck.

Unfortunately, a week after taking the test I started to have some heavy bleeding. I had gone into the doctor's office that morning and they had done some more blood work. But the call I got from the doctor was not reassuring. She told me that I was most likely having a miscarriage. 

We were absolutely devastated.

I went in to the doctor's office a week later for a check-up and they confirmed the miscarriage. 

However, in the midst of the sadness I found an overwhelming peace. I knew that I was going to be okay. I knew that everything was going to work out. I did not know how or when everything would work out, but I did recognize the peace that I had asked my Father in Heaven for when he gave it to me. He blessed me with the comfort that I so needed. 

And, to my surprise, a month later He showed me just how everything would work out. For some reason I felt like I should take another pregnancy test. It had not even been a full month since my miscarriage. But I took the test anyway. 

The test was positive. Again. 

At first I feared that I might have another miscarriage. But I pushed the fear out and listened to what I was really feeling:

Peace. 

I had a sense of peace and comfort that I did not have with the previous pregnancy. And I have had that peace with me every day of this pregnancy. We still take things day by day. But I know my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ take on each day with me. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of their love for me. 

After trying for over a year and a half and after two miscarriages we are incredibly happy and grateful to be where we are now. Dallin and I are so excited to meet our precious little miracle this December!